This page contains transcripts of interviews conducted using the RMS and Miguel heads-on-a-stick. == Andrew and Miguel (draft) 0198.jpg 0199.wav == Miguel:: Hi, who are you? Andrew:: Andrew. Miguel:: Andrew, hi. Do you know who I am? Andrew:: Miguel de Icaza Miguel:: Wow, nice to know. Have you heard of Mono? Andrew:: I have. Miguel:: You have. Do you use Mono? Andrew:: Only when a program that somebody else wrote insists on using Mono Miguel:: Ohhh. You should you Mono for everything. Andrew:: No, I only use it for preparing panaroma images. Miguel:: Ahh. You see, Mono is the greatest language ever invented. Andrew:: Ahh! Well, I must have to find something else that will be better then. Miguel:: No no, because you see we're going to have a Mono-poly, it's all going to be Mono. Andrew:: The one true Mono. Miguel:: Yes, very much so. Andrew:: Right. Couldn't it be a Duo? Miguel:: No no, I think Intel's trademarked that now. Andrew:: Trio? Miguel:: No, that's Sony isn't it? No, Handspring. Andrew:: Quattro. Miguel:: Audi. Andrew:: Ah, and I don't know Italian for five, or Spanish. Miguel:: Yes. Andrew:: I can see the problem. Miguel:: Yes, it's very serious, everyone should just use Mono. Andrew:: I've run out now. Miguel:: Yeah, so have I. == David and RMS (draft) 0187.jpg 0188.wav == RMS:: Hi, I'm Richard Stallman, what's your name? David:: I'm David. RMS:: What do you do, David? David:: I'm a software engineer. RMS:: So, have you read the GPL 3? David:: No. RMS:: You should, the GPL 3 is my personal vision you know. David:: Really? Cool. RMS:: Yes, that's right, I'm particularly fond of the parts I had Eben write. David:: Cool. RMS:: So, if you haven't read GPL 3, have you at least read the comments? David:: I haven't read them RMS:: Our comments system is Web 2.0 compatible, you know. David:: Ok. RMS:: So, tell me about what you do. David:: I do simulation systems for surgeries. RMS:: On what operating system? David:: Under Linux of course. RMS:: Under Linux? David:: Yes. RMS:: I think you'll find that's pronounced GNU/Linux. David:: GNU/Linux *laughs*. RMS:: Personally, I think everyone should consider switching to an alternative kernel, perhaps the GNU/Hurd, or perhaps something I haven't yet written (??). David:: What's that? RMS:: I'm going to call it StallOS. David:: Where do I find it? RMS:: GNU/StallOS ... *disintegrates into chaos* == Groggy and RMS (draft) 0210.jpg 0211.wav == Groggy:: Look Richard, I've told you a bloody million times this GPL crap is no good at all, it is a complete waste of time. You're holding the whole world to ransom with your crap, I mean, we want a real free license, like the BSD license. RMS:: Haven't you read GPL 3, it's compatible with BSD now. Groggy:: GPL 3 is even more bloody legislation than before, we want a short licence, you keep telling us that it's shorter now, ??? it's 350kb long, how the hell can any bloody idiot read that, it's like a EULA. RMS:: But the GPL 3 is my personal vision, as transcribed by Eben. I thought I'd go for stone tablets, but that's been done and I wanted to stay with the times, so it's got a Web 2.0 and AJAX system now. Groggy:: Look, Richard, you're 53 years old, it's time you started wearing glasses, no wonder your vision's flawed. RMS:: Alright, alright, personal (??) things aside, as one beard wearer to another, what are your tips for beard maintenance? Groggy:: Beard maintenance? Well, I've always found that shaving it off and selling it on eBay has been rather profitable, and so like yours, mine varies in length. Last time I met you, mine was long, yours was short, now yours is long, mine's short. These are the fluctuations of life, what can you say. RMS:: Do you have any tips on keeping food out of your beard? I tend to have chicken wings hanging off, it's a bit odd. Groggy:: Why do you want to keep it out? Wait until dinner?? time when you can boil your beard in water and have a soup. RMS:: .... Groggy:: *laughs* You never were a good man with words, were you Richard? RMS:: No. So why are you at linux.conf.au if you're a BSD hacker? Groggy:: I'm trying to subvert the whole movement and show them the one true way. RMS:: Into GNU/Hurd, yes, the one true way. Groggy:: Ahhh, one of these days you will understand. == Miguel and Aaron Seigo (draft) 0192.jpg 0194.wav == Miguel:: Hi, I'm Miguel de Icaza, who are you? Aaron:: I'm Aaron Seigo, of the KDE Project. Miguel:: KDE Project eh? I heard you guys are switching to Mono. Aaron:: Ah, no, not really. Miguel:: Really? Have you considered it? Aaron:: Yes, in fact, we actually have C# binding for Cute. Miguel:: I hear Mono is the ultimate platform to do all your rapid application development. Aaron:: Yes, listening to yourself is a great way to hear these things. Miguel:: I've been telling myself for months, Mono is the only way. Aaron:: Alright. Miguel:: It's true. And after that, then comes Glib, and then Gtk, and then, well, you may as well just develop ?? then. Aaron:: You didn't have enough of one monopoly, you had to make another here? I believe there's options in the world, you know, one thing(??) of open source is you're free to make your decisions, and if they turn out to be mistakes, then someone else who made different decisions will hopefully be successful. So if you're right, bully, and if you're not, ah well, one more way not to make a lightbulb. Miguel:: Certainly freedom's important, but I've coined myself a new phrase. I like the term "Freedom as in Mono". Aaron:: *laughs* Isn't that a kissing disease? Like, I caught that once from this girl right, like I didn't really know her, and she stuck her toungue down my throat and the next thing I know I've felt like boy, I've got no motivation. Miguel:: No, that's date rape. Aaron:: Oh. Similar. I thought it was Mono? Miguel:: I'd better let you get to your talk then. Aaron:: It was brilliant to meet you Miguel. I've looked forward to this all my life. I thought you'd be a bit more animated, you seem to have like one expression, but it works for you! It's good - don't let anybody tell you you've gotta change that. I'll give you a hug, aww, I feel the love tonight. Good luck! Miguel:: Cya. == Stewart and RMS (draft) 0142.jpg 0143.wav == RMS:: Hi, who are you? Stewart:: I'm Stewart. RMS:: Hi Stewart, do you know who I am? Stewart:: Yes ... RMS:: Can you say my name, Stewart? Stewart:: RMS RMS:: That's Richard Matthew Stallman to you. Stewart:: Ahh. RMS:: So, Free Software or Open Source? Stewart:: Hmmm.... I don't care. RMS:: You know it's an important choice about freedom. Stewart:: Yep. RMS:: So, you work for MySQL, that's correct? Stewart:: Yes. RMS:: When are you going to make MySQL truly free? Stewart:: It is truly free. RMS:: Truly free. Stewart:: It is truly free. RMS:: Have you read GPL 3 yet? Stewart:: Yes. RMS:: What do you think? Stewart:: It's interesting ... we're going to have some interesting times with that and customers and making sure people don't get scared and run or fork the code, but hopefully it'll work. RMS:: I haven't read it, I just got Eben to write it for me. Stewart:: *laughs* RMS:: I said, write something down, we'll see what comes out. I'm sure it'll be good, good as GPL 2. I was thinking perhaps of remerging ?? it to the GNU Free Documentation Licence. *someone else says something, disintegrates* == Trent and Miguel (draft) 0202.jpg 0207.wav == Miguel:: Hi, who are you? Trent:: I'm Trent. Miguel:: So, do you know who I am? Trent:: No. Miguel:: I'm Miguel de Icaza. Trent:: Oh really? Miguel:: So what do you do? Trent:: Me? What do I do? Not much. Miguel:: Really? I thought you had some sort of multicast DNS thing going on. Trent:: Well, yes, I do. Miguel:: Is it written in Mono? Trent:: No. Miguel:: Why not? Does it at least have Mono bindings? Trent:: Yes, it does, in fact. Miguel:: It does have Mono bindings, well done. Trent:: It does, except you won't put them on the website, because you are a Bonjour weenie. That's true by the way. Miguel:: No need to be offensive. I think with Bonjour, Apple's done a good job there. I mean, we don't need so many implementations, it confuses things. Trent:: But Bonjour's shit. Miguel:: I guess it is, but it's not really Mono, so you know, everything should be written in Mono you know? Trent:: It doesn't have Mono bindings, we had to write them up ?? Miguel:: So you do agree that Mono is something good. Trent:: Something good, yes. Miguel:: Yeah. So everything should be Mono, there should be a Mono-poly. Trent:: Mono-poly? Miguel:: Yes, everything Mono. Trent:: So why don't you go write Monopoly in Mono? Miguel:: You know, I think I will. Trent:: Are you going to make your business a monopoly, just like Microsoft? Miguel:: Well, we're taking after Microsoft, you see that's the Mono way. Microsoft made C#, we made Mono. We like Microsoft a lot, you know. Trent:: So once you get Microsoft, then what? Will you rule the world? Miguel:: Yes, then we'll rule the world. And everyone shall use Mono! Trent:: Ok. Miguel:: The Mono-poly shall rule the world. Trent:: So tell me, how did you write the first C# compiler? Miguel:: *thick spanish accent* I went out back and I sort of sat down, and then I took a few bits of crack, and Mono came to me in a flash of brilliance, and I coded like a Ximian crackmonkey. Trent:: So what language did you write it in? Miguel:: Mono - C#. Trent:: So you wrote Mono in Mono before Mono existed? Miguel:: Of course, Mono transcends time. Trent:: Oh, I see. So why won't you put the Avahi bindings and our binding documentation on the Mono website? Miguel:: Because you smell. Trent:: Because I smell? That's a bit offensive. Ah, but I didn't write them, so you know, do you think that snorp smells? Miguel:: snorp? snorp is metal. I did not know that snorp wrote them. Trent:: But he did, and he asked you to put them on there. Miguel:: I must have been having some of the bad crack that day. Trent:: It's all bad crack. Miguel:: *laughs* Trent:: So, it was nice meeting you, but I'd just like to inform you now that I'm a KDE user, and that GNOME sucks. Miguel:: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! == Pia and RMS (draft) 0189.jpg 0190.wav == RMS:: Hi, who are you? Pia:: My name's Pia Waugh. RMS:: And what do you do, Pia Waugh? Pia:: I'm Vice President of a group. RMS:: And what's the name of that group? Pia:: Ooooh, well, the name of that group is Linux Australia. RMS:: I see. Have you ever considered perhaps naming the group GNU/Linux Australia? Pia:: We had thought about it, but we dismissed that idea because it's a lot of effort, and well, no. RMS:: I don't really think I can take a group seriously if they don't refer to themselves by the correct name of GNU/Linux Australia. Pia:: I know, as evidenced by the fact you've come to Australia, and you've gone all around Australia and you didn't tell any the user groups that you were going to be here. RMS:: Well, I heard that the conference was going to be renamed to the much more funny GNU.conf.au. Pia:: GCA? That's not bad, that's actually quite a good one. The only problem is how are we going to put a slash in the domain name to make it work? RMS:: It's Free Software, someone will find a way. Pia:: *laughs* RMS:: So have you read GPL 3 yet? Pia:: I have. RMS:: What did you think? I ??? thought GPL 3 is my personal, personal vision. It captures the essence of what I think is GNU software. Pia:: And what do you think is GNU software? RMS:: It's all about Free-dom and LISP and plant nasal sex and Freedom. Pia:: Ey, rocking. Well that certainly sounds a lot more interesting. As long as it's plant nasal sex, we're definitely going to rename Linux Australia. RMS:: Are you into plant nasal sex? Pia:: Absolutely. RMS:: Would you like to demonstrate it for us? Pia:: Ok. *snort* *whistle* *honk* *ribbit* *ooooh* 2:04-2:08 RMS:: Thankyou very much for speaking?? You've gotta rename the thing ..